He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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