Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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