I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So much Jack, so little girl.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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