I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
