im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
