Buhtt sex?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
