she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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