Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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