I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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