I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
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Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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