Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
