If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
