I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
