went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
