Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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