he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize