I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
