Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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