let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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