i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
