My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
