Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
