Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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