he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
