mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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