how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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