Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
