Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have already put on my inside pants.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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