So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
