I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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