i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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