you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
