The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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