Barsexuality is the new black.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
