Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
