Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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