to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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