weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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