I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's paint friendship bongs
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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