talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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