I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
