question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
