You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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