Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
