Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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