So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
