Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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