Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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