Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
