Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have post one night stand depression
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
