We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
