I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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