So drunk its hurt
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
