you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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