Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
