He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
