he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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