Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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