I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
