My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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