Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
well you can't waste a boner
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
