how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
