Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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