let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
