You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
