all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
