he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
